From the Surfside

May 28th You print out the Summer Reading List three weeks before school gets out vowing to make sure that, number one, your kids have picked a book from the list and, number two, you have the book in hand before the end of the school year. This will ensure that your kids get a jump on their summer reading early and you don’t run into cramming right before Labor Day. June 11th You and your child argue over the choice of books based on what you think they should read, what your child has heard is the “easiest” book to read, and what Grandma might already have a copy of. You completely ignore the fact that no matter what book is chosen, it will fulfill the requirement of summer reading and neglect to consider that the reason there is a list in the first place is because there cannot be a “wrong” choice. June 28th School is out and not only do you not have the book in hand, you’re still arguing about which book your child will read. 4th of July While attending a cookout with...

While this post was originally written on August 21, 2015 when the album turned 25, “Of Course”, the memory is still clear as day today at 29. "True hunting's over..." I vividly remember, 25 years ago, going to Strawberries in Pembroke to look for Ritual De Lo Habitual. The store manager, who I did not know at the time but would end up working for at the Hanover store one year later, told me that sometimes new releases that "aren't that big don't get here until later in the day." Rather than lecture her about the actual importance of the album's release I chose to exit quietly and  got in my tan Chevy Chevette and drove down route 139, turning right onto route 53, making my way to Good Vibrations in Hanover (bypassing Strawberries in Hanover knowing their philosophy on the less important new releases of the day). I entered Good Vibes only to find out that, even though their name could have a certain connotation to it, the edited version ...

I feel like I need to clarify something from a recent post. The thought of kicking the opposing coach in the nuts, while a straight-up violent act, driven by a lethal mix of frustration and anger and capable of delivering a crippling injury, would have been dispatched with the intention of causing complete public humiliation as opposed to physical discomfort. Sure, a direct hit to the nuts does indeed come with excruciating pain whether it be from an oncoming assailant or just the unfortunate placement of oneself on the seat of a bicycle, but what tends to hurt more is the lingering embarrassment that comes with unintended contact to the genital area. Think about it. Boxing, a sport based on the whole idea of hitting your opponent until he falls down, has devised a rule for nothing “below the belt”. Even with a protective cup in place, if crotch shots were allowed in boxing, matches would be over in mere minutes. Men would rush at their opponent, furiously jabbing at the c...

Took a lovely jaunt down to a small town in the southeastern part of Massachusetts today to witness a complete shellacking in a seventh-grade Division 4 basketball game. Unfortunately, the team in which I assist with the coaching duties was on the receiving end of the drubbing, 45-15. Our formidable hosts clearly had the edge in size, which we could see even before tip-off. In fact, I’m confident making the statement that they have the two tallest 13 year-olds in New England no matter how much hyperbolic stank that may wreak of. That is if they were actually 13. As our team sat together in the bleachers waiting for the game preceding ours to finish up, I glanced around the middle school gym and noticed the 5 or 6 banners lining the walls, touting League Basketball Championships over the course of the last decade. Ominous to say the least. I tend to size up our opponents during warm-ups; trying to match who on our team will cover their bigger guys and I know that most of our...

What’s 48 and a half inches long and can be held between my forefinger and thumb? Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s my receipt from CVS today. Absurd, isn’t it? 48.5” of receipt. And to pile more absurdity onto an already absurd situation, I only bought three items totaling $12.46. Shaving cream, hair gel, and a pack of gum. I just undid every measure I took in the year 2018 to protect the environment in one single transaction at CVS. Seriously, what the fuck? For those that haven’t bothered to do the conversion yet, that’s just over four feet of receipt. My receipt from CVS is as tall as the average seven-year-old boy. The next time I visit Six Flags or any other amusement park around the country, my receipt from CVS would be a suitable source of measure when trying to figure out if a particular child was tall enough to board a roller coaster without being accompanied by an adult. Speaking of boarding things, If I accidentally tried to board an airline flight...

My wife, Jennifer, started a new job this week and got lost on her commute to work this morning. She had driven to work every day this week but on Friday, being a cool, sunny morning with hints of a New England fall in the air, she decided to walk.  We live 1.2 miles from her place of employment in a town we’ve lived in for 13 years and she got fucking lost walking to work.  Last year when they opened up a new bike path near our home that leads directly to my office, I decided it might be fun to ride my bike to work some mornings. So you know what I did? A test run. That’s right. One Saturday morning, I hopped on my bike to do a test run on the route that I would be taking to work the days I decided to ride. A test run is a beautiful thing. It allows you to make mistakes along the way like perhaps, make a wrong turn. Maybe discover an unexpected obstacle along the way. And most importantly, once you figure out the proper route, it allows you to time ...

My goal for this weekend is to get in one more epic beach day on Saturday with my family. With Pearl Jam at Fenway on Sunday night, whatever I do Sunday will be cut a little short to get into town for that, so Saturday is the day. While it might be a little soon to start looking at this weekend's weather, I like to get a jump on what I can expect. In fact, during the summer months, the first thing I usually do on Monday morning when faced with the reality of a fresh five day work week is to look at the following weekend's forecast to start mentally making plans. Check the weather. Check the tides. Check the surf report. And today is Tuesday, so it's not that far off and with Friday being a half day at work, which will be slow, and I'm sure many folks will be off, that will probably feel like a nothing day so this week's Thursday will kind of feel like Friday, which practically makes today Wednesday. You get what I'm saying? It's almost the weekend. Satur...