Do You Trust Your Teenager to Shop for Groceries?

Today I sent my two teenage boys to the grocery store with my credit card and a short list of things to get. They came home with a couple of things that weren’t on the list but obviously felt we also needed.

The big thing we were out of was lunch meat. The hour was quickly approaching lunchtime and even though I could list a number of options currently available in the house, all of which teenagers would agree sound incredibly delicious and satisfying, none of them would come to fruition powered by nothing more than the energy level of a high schooler in the last full week of summer vacation facing a quite manageable, yet still daunting, load of summer reading.

These are sandwich days, and driving to the store to get lunch meat was more appealing than making something else, even though it would require more effort. Somehow, to them, it sounded easier.

It would actually be the 17-year old’s first meal of the day because he spent the hours since 8:30 this morning stretching out across his bed in his underwear taking advantage of the fact that his summer job and the 6:45 am wake-up call that came with it have set with the glory days of the rest of the summer. Still, he’d be craving something a little more savory than traditional breakfast fare.

So I rallied the troops, texted a list (a post-it note would surely be lost before they even passed through the doors of the grocery), and gave no clear instructions, feeling the list was pretty self-explanatory.

It was sort of a test. I was interested to see how the bounty would appear upon their return. After all, does a 15 or 17-year-old know what to look for when they see “English cucumber”? Will they find eggs that are “cage-free”? I would find out soon enough.

I sat at my desk, phone by side, expecting a text or call any minute for clarification or guidance on which aisle a particular item might be located in.

Turns out they didn’t need help.

Now, they did ask if they could get anything else we might be out of or they thought we could use, like Goldfish (they love Goldfish). So, to clarify, I did authorize going off the list.

And what did they come back with? Well, they checked everything off the original list, which was:

• A pound of Boar’s Head Ovengold turkey
• A pound of American cheese
• The English cucumber - I was impressed. They either found the produce clearly labeled or they recognized the type of cucumbers typically in our fridge. The only difference was they bought a 3-pack. Buying in bulk. Smart.
• A package of sandwich rolls of their choice
• A package of everything bagels
• One dozen eggs (large, brown, cage-free)

The 15-year old was in charge of seltzer. He came home carrying three cases, proudly declaring, “I bought three because it was 3 for $12.” Of course, what he actually meant was mom and I bought three. Still, I was proud of how he weighed his (our) money-saving options and enjoyed the grown-up feeling of responsible purchasing...with someone else’s money.

So what did they go off the list for?

• 1 can of lightly salted Pringles (someone’s watching their sodium intake, or they didn’t notice)
• 1 can of BBQ Pringles
• 1 bag of Lay’s kettle-cooked salt & vinegar chips (never mind on the sodium watch)
• 2 Old Spice Deodorants - one “Fresh” scent and one “Night Panther
• 1 bottle of Old Spice “Captain” body wash
• 1 Carton of Goldfish
• One dozen glazed donuts

And, are you ready?

One nectarine. Just one.

Why one nectarine? Response from the 15-year old, “In case it’s not good.” 

We’re being cautious with nectarines apparently. I mean, I need to be, due to the fact that one time in the summer of 2001, I ate a nectarine at work and my face began to swell up. It was a bit concerning. I took a couple of Benadryl at the office, and my coworker Meg Gallagher drove me to an urgent care clinic where, after seeing my face and knowing that I’d taken Benadryl orally about an hour prior, the doctor decided to give me more Benadryl intravenously so it would kick in faster. Their plan was to keep me there for a bit and check back on me to ensure the swelling was subsiding before I went home. 

So they sent me back out into the waiting room where I immediately fell asleep on the floor, with my faithful coworker Meg by my side. After rousing me from my slumber, the doctor determined I would survive, suggested I lay off nectarines, and sent me on my way with a prescription for steroids. Meg brought me back to work where I went to my office, closed the door, and once again fell asleep on the floor. That Benadryl is no joke. 

I turned out to be fine and am 99% sure the swelling was from a bug in the nectarine that bit me in the face. Needless to say, I eat nectarines sparingly these days, but the 15-year old requires no such caution and enjoys nectarines. But I guess he’s right. Sometimes there’s a bad bunch.

Looking at what the boys returned home with, I would guess if they were in the grocery store for 40 minutes, they spent 32 of those minutes smelling the various types of Old Spice deodorants before settling on “Fresh” and “Night Panther”. 

And after that successful trip, they came home and had glazed donuts for lunch.