My Life As an Air-Guitarist - Chapter 5: #2 "Iron Man" - Black Sabbath


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Chapter 5 - #2 "Iron Man" - Black Sabbath

If you've been following "My Life As an Air-Guitarist" since the beginning, I'd like to bring your attention back to the photo of me in the kitchen, circa 1976. While the average pre-schooler would have been more likely dancing happily to "Free to Be You and Me" around that time, there is a 99.9% chance I was air-guitaring to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" in that picture. 

A prime example of the influence my older siblings' musical taste had on my early days, in this case, my brother Doug, who did us all an incredible favor by introducing our family to Black Sabbath's 1971 album, Paranoid.

In fact, I was so fascinated by this album at that young age that I apparently brought the record into my pre-school at the Dover Church as my show-and-tell item one day. That's a story for another time, but the point is, I was so mesmerized by the intro with Ozzy Osbourne's long, drawn-out "I aammm IROOOON MAAAAAN" as he spoke into a blowing fan for a Darth Vader vocal effect (pre-Star Wars), that I had to share this magnificent discovery with the rest of my nursery classmates. You might say I was ahead of my time.

Since then, Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" and the entire Paranoid album, have remained a solid go-to in my music collection for inspiration, nostalgia, emotional support, and air-guitar. 

The most exciting thing about playing air-guitar to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" is that if I didn't spend so much time air-guitaring to it, I might have actually been able to learn how to play it. Well, not the solo, but at least the riff. The sense of possibility is there, and it can be as exciting as the reality. Like buying a lottery ticket and just imagining what you'd do with the money knowing it's highly unlikely you're going to win. It's just fun to know the possibility is there. So you're telling me there's a chance.

As "Iron Man" begins counting off via the bass drum, naturally, I start off with the killer bends, usually keeping time with my right heel to the kick drum. And immediately, when the main riff kicks in, the entire band is locked into the same groove; guitar, bass, drums, and vocals. 

It's as if each member of Black Sabbath (the good line-up) is in an enormous coat of iron themselves, each stuffed into an appendage, moving synchronously to the heartbeat of the song, none able to break free. They tromp along awkwardly, yet somehow melodically, through the verses and choruses of this classic headbanger groove.

I remain pretty true to Iommi's guitar parts throughout, with the occasional reach for a cymbal crash, and of course, some of the killer drum fills, such as the one at the one-minute and 30-second mark when the bass and guitar drop out. But then I'm right back in.

As I mentioned, the power of this groove lies in the synchronicity of the band and how they're drawn in, so as you're playing the general riff, it's the same as the bass line and melody that Ozzy is singing. It's sort of a three-for-one. I reach for my imaginary Tony Iommi SG, and I completely immerse myself in "Iron Man," ready to take it all on.

At the 3:10 mark, there's a sudden change of pace, where Iommi and Geezer Butler mirror each other, descending, note for note, down the neck of their respective instruments. They repeat this once more, and then the gloves come off. The time is cut in half, and they go their separate ways, ripping through this 70s metal signature piece. I believe this might be the vengeance Ozzie was referencing would soon be unfurled.

The solo itself has some great pick action. My hands are positioned close to my waist, the palm of my right hand never leaving my right hip. This is the part of Iron Man I'd never be able to actually play, yet you'd never know that while watching me shred this part.

In 30 seconds, Iommi and Butler will meet up again reuniting to journey down the neck of the guitar once again for those same 10 notes and eventually return to the riff. It's as if they enter into and exit out of the solo on the same path of air-guitar heaven. Heavy boots of lead. And I'm there for the triumphant return. 

The crowd is going nuts and I oblige them with a quick throw-up of devil horns in between riffs. Back to the classic headbanging riff.

At about the 4:40 mark, I trade in the SG for a pair of drumsticks and play along with Bill Ward as he drum-rolls us into the closeout of this stoner classic. At this point, I no longer picture Black Sabbath as a four-piece 70s metal band. At this point, I imagine them galloping in four black stallions, through the dense fog on a grassy knoll, black capes flowing in the wind behind them, each swinging an iron morningstar above their heads, ready to kick the shit out of anyone who stands in their way. 

After rolling with Ward through this transition, I go right back to the SG and trade-off drum rolls for note bends before transitioning full-time to the solo that carries this one home. And here is Black Sabbath, peaking during the outro of "Iron Man" leaving the crowd with a simple desire of wanting more. I'm breathless.

If you're new to air-guitaring, "Iron Man" is a great place to start, and I'd rate the general riff as beginner-level, appropriate for anyone in pre-school and above. As I said, I probably could have actually learned how to play the riff by now if I spent less time air-guitaring and more time practicing the real guitar. But a novice air-guitarist should be able to pick this one up quickly. 

While the time changes during the middle may seem a bit intimidating, you can probably muscle through 'em. One of the great things about air-guitar is people rarely notice when you fuck up. That might be because, after about 30 seconds, many people have stopped paying attention out of sheer embarrassment for you, but that's ok. It's one of the benefits of air-guitar vs. actual guitar, in addition to a few other bonuses, such as not having to waste time tuning up, developing callouses on your fingers, or searching endlessly for a pick.

One observation on "Iron Man" — it's interesting to listen to how the bass line pops throughout, and is especially noticeable during the guitar solos. It's sort of an amateur side-effect you'd expect to hear from a 13-year-old in Guitar Center who finally found the nuts to plug in and play something in front of the always-judgemental customers in an instrument store while testing out a bass he has no intention of buying. Yet, somehow it's acceptable on this track, bringing frenetic energy and making it brilliant. I'd argue that this is the type of "it is what it is"playing that is missing from today's recordings where the focus seems to be polished perfection. The authenticity of a little sloppiness doesn't exist like it did on Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" in 1971.

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