Slowride


I’ve always felt that changing the oil in my car was something that I should be able to take care of on my own. I know enough people who do it regularly that there can’t be any real “behind the curtain” secrets to it, right? And not only would I save a few bucks, but knowing your car better is an important step in keeping it running longer and staying in tune with how things are functioning. Plus, it just seems like it would be satisfying.

So I started watching some youtube videos on how to change the oil on a 2006 highlander. There are youtube videos for just about everything, you know, even for self-destructing washing machines and dryers.

When it comes to videos on how to change the oil in your car, some are more helpful and much more to the point than others, and for these, I am grateful. Because while there are many people out there who are confident in their ability to change the oil and filter in a car, when it comes to their “how to” video production skills and step by step explanations, well, some of them really suck. And youtube is littered with those. But like digging through vinyl at a thrift store, sort through the crap and you’ll find a winner.

After getting comfortable with the steps involved and the tools needed, I made a trip to pick up the supplies. The first stop was Home Depot, where I picked up the 5 quart jug of oil, the Rhino car ramps, and a funnel. When researching oil and the 5 quarts needed to fill the tank, I was shocked at the price that auto parts stores like Auto Zone and O’Reilly’s were charging for 5 quarts of oil. If 5 quarts of oil was going to be $30-$35 then there wasn’t going to be any cost-savings with doing my own oil change at home. But it just didn’t seem right and upon further research, I realized that you can get the same stuff for under $20 at the Depot and a few other “non-specialty” auto type stores.

Home Depot also had a selection of oil filters for under $10, but this was the part of the job that I began to agonize over. What filter do I buy and is this something that you can get away with buying an inexpensive filter or, like some youtube videos suggested, is the filter really the “life blood” of the oil component in your car engine and therefor nothing to skimp on?

Rather than take a chance, I stuck with getting the Mobil1 oil filter at Auto Zone that I had my mind set on due to it getting some of the best reviews online. Granted, it was $15, but I was willing to overspend on this first go round so as not to cost me extra down the line by using cheap parts.

Along with the oil filter, I grabbed an oil filter wrench and an oil drain pan. The oil filter wrench was one of the tools that wasn’t necessarily “required” but it looked like it sure made the job easier and would minimize the risk of burning myself on a hot engine (you have to run the car for a couple minutes before you change the oil because hot oil drains faster and easier than cold oil). So I thought my safety and sanity were both worth the $9.99 investment.

The final detail to coordinate before getting started was the tunes for the job. Now, to me, I think it’s quite obvious that any auto work to be performed at home in one’s driveway can only be accompanied by one style of music. Classic rock. My go to when it comes to any DIY home improvement project is Boston. Boston’s self-titled debut, which back in the day, I always thought was their Greatest Hits album because it is literally nothing but hits, really gets me in the zone. Unfortunately, my wife can’t stand them. We’ve discussed and apparently this disdain goes back to her years in high school where whenever shit went awry, at a party, with her friends, etc., Boston was often playing in the background.

As she says, “Bad things happen when Boston is playing.” I, on the other hand, disagree and would argue that nothing but good things like amazing air-guitar opportunities and anthemic sing-along choruses happen when Boston is playing. But...

I guess part of the risk that comes with being one of the biggest bands of the ‘70s and selling 17 million copies of your debut album is that chances are you’re going to be the soundtrack to as many good times as you will be for bad times. So the dilemma remains, what drives me to be possibly my most productive around the house and make my wife happy, is the same thing that drives my wife bananas, completely cancelling out her satisfaction with any of the productive things I may have accomplished around the house. Retouching some baseboard trim with a coat of paint or a replaced light fixture is completely overlooked due the annoyance of Boston. So like an addict trying to quit smoking, I sneak some Boston every now and then when she’s not around.

But, since I wish not to add to her reasons for disliking Boston any more than she already does by supplying her with more reasons to associate them with bad times, I opt for no Boston while getting ready for this oil change. Because having the emergency brake slip and causing the car to come crashing down on me during “Peace of Mind” would really set Boston back in her ratings of classic rock bands. Perhaps even further than they already are and there would simply be no coming back for them.

So what am I thinking? Eddie Money, a little Blue Oyster Cult, Billy Squier, some Foghat for sure. Yes, those should do. Lonely is the Night, baby. Two tickets to paradise right here. Oh yeah. This is gonna be good.

And what about the attire? I thought about cutting the sleeves off my Guns ‘N Roses t-shirt to really look the part but realizing that I would never wear a homemade muscle t-shirt anywhere other than when I’m changing the oil in our cars at home, I decided against it because I really like my GNR t-shirt. Cutting the sleeves would limit my opportunity to like 8 times a year if you figure about 4 oil changes per car over the course of 12 months. And since probably only two of the four would be done during sleeveless t-shirt weather, well right there I’m down to four times per year.

And with that, I got started on my first oil change. Got the car up on the ramps. Placed two logs from the woodpile behind the rear tires. And crawled underneath with my socket wrench and started working on removing the drain plug.

I was unprepared for how difficult removing the drain plug would be. Within 10 minutes of trying to get it to budge with a socket wrench I found myself in the same spot I end up in for just about every home improvement project I attempt, laying there, feeling completely defeated and wondering, “why does everything have to be so fucking hard, man?”

I thought it might be the fact that I was using a socket wrench that was sized to SAE standards and not metric. While the job calls for a 14 mm socket, the SAE version, which I believe was 9/16” seemed to fit pretty snug. That may be an exact conversion in terms of measurement but online (where I get all of my information when doing things at home like oil changes where I’ve typically relied on a professional in the past) there is a belief that it’s not an exact conversion so if a job calls for a 14 mm socket, you can use an SAE wrench but it may not be as snug as the 14 mm. I could only think at that particular moment that I was proving this school of thought to be true and I would be graduating with high honors in failure. So as I attempted to loosen the plug while contemplating if I should run to the hardware store to buy a 14 mm socket wrench (this oil change was getting pricey) or maybe get a rubber mallet and tap the handle, some good karma cashed itself in and the plug eventually gave way.

As I loosened the plug, what I was unprepared for was the velocity at which the oil shot out of the hole. Think Gillette Stadium tailgate when you finally get into the porta potty after getting in line about three beers later than you should have. So I overshot the drain pan but quickly moved it into place to limit the size of the oil stain that was going to leave its mark in the driveway as a reminder of the day I first attempted to change the oil. Simply a battle scar. I also realized the oil was a lot hotter than I was expecting it to be. I got a pretty good feeling on the temp as I had to fish around in the oil pan for the drain plug that I dropped in there after being caught off guard from the Vesuvius-like eruption of oil.

With the old oil completely drained, I reinserted the plug (replacing the crush washer as well) and went to work on the oil filter. Now, the oil filter wrench is a peculiar looking piece of equipment and the packaging comes with very little instruction. It looks more like a clothes dryer duct clamp than a wrench and unfortunately, when I tried to fit it onto the filter, it was a little too big and appeared to be the incorrect size. Once again, bringing me to mutter, “why does everything have to be so fucking hard, man?”

While I silently cursed out the guy at Auto Zone who told me that this was the wrench I needed for the filter I had bought the night before, I marched in the house to do a google search for some background info on filter wrenches. What I discovered was that it wasn’t that I had the wrong sized wrench. I was actually just using the wrench incorrectly. It does start off as seeming too big but the handle needs to be pulled out and down, providing a firm grip on the filter, which then allows you to unscrew it. At that point, I was feeling rather foolish and very glad I was not dressed in a sleeveless Guns N’ Roses t-shirt on top of it all.

With the old filter removed, I did another quick google search to check the price of the oil filter that my trusty mechanic had been using to see if I’d gone a little too high-end with the Mobile M1 at $14.99. Sure enough, the Puralator Tech my mechanic used can be had for about $7. So there’s some future oil change savings to look forward to in about 3,000 miles.

With the new filter installed and the oil tank replenished with 5 quarts of new oil, it was official. I had successfully completed my first oil change. And it only took me an hour and 20 minutes. Not bad for my first go when you consider about 20 minutes was spent trying to get the drain plug loose and another 15 minutes was spent learning how to properly use a filter wrench.

The simple process of backing the car down off the Rhino ramps proved more difficult than I anticipated but when I realized that I still had two logs from the woodpile jammed against the back tires to keep it from rolling back during the oil change, that went much smoother once I got out and removed those.

It was an incredibly satisfying experience and my confidence level on mechanical car work has skyrocketed in the past few days. So much so that I may scour the classifieds or Craig’s List for an old Ford Mustang in need of a complete refurbish even though my car resume doesn’t go beyond checking tire pressure, bulb replacement, battery replacement, and oil changes at this point. But at least I’d have more opportunities to wear a home made muscle tee. I’m feeling that good about it.

Maybe I’ll ease into it and just hang out with Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” for starters.

Slowride, take it easy….


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